My life as you think you know it

my sister will be here tomorrow....wooo hoooo.....I am so ready to spend some real time with her....relaxing and enjoying the time...I wish it was more than 5 days but I will take what I can get with a big ol smile on my face...I need to finsh getting sum stuff done around the house tonight...trying to movtivate...it isn't working very well...but anyways...I am off I will post again later next week...have fun everyone.

a freakin week and my sister will finally be here.....hip hip hooray....lol

So I made it down to the school to just ask some questions and somehow I ended up taking a class...it is one step closer to getting my degree...I will now graduate next may...a week before my 23rd birthday...woooo hoooo

9 days until my sister is here

I am frustrated with the college system right now....I never understand why everytime I need an appt to see an advisor no matter what I see to have to take off work to get it done....I wouldn't normally care but right now I need the money and can't afford to be off....but school is a very important thing as well...and I need to deal with it...I don't have much left...and I will finally be done and not have to worry about it anymore....blah blah blah...sorry just had to vent that.

Ever had one of those times where no matter what you do you can't get the idea of romance out of your mind...and not just the sexual part but just everything....I have had it on my mind heavy recently...I think it may be a hormonal glitch....I figure it will eventually leave at some point....cuz as of this moment....no one around to fulfill that part of the requirements....lol....I am thinkin I just have to much damn time on my hands....thinkin about stuff to much....missing things I don't need to be missing....I was almost tempted to call my ex....then I really thought about that error...I didn't end up calling...good thing too....I can't go back to that again and I won't...well before I keep thinking about stuff I shouldn't be I am gonna go to bed.


p.s. my sister will be here is 10 freaking days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I started back at the gym today, after a 3 month hiatus....OW...and WOW...I worked muscles that hadn't seen action in a long ass time...i feel good though....started a new meal plan and the whole deal...figure I am not fat by any means but I would like a nice toned body....little waist big boobs...hee hee hee....srry just getting happy thinkin bout it....my new years was fun....I went out with some friends and got a little schnocked....won't drink again until my sister gets here later this month....17 DAYS BABY!!!!....I am sooooooo excited I don't even know what to do....I am picking up some more hours at work so I can bring in a little extra dough....ya'll know how that goes...but tonight I realize now I will be sleeping with a nice hot pad on my lower back....that will be a fun one....more looking forward to tomorrow...work most of the day and then hopefully on wednesday I will be able to go up to the school and talk to one of the advisors about my schedule and program stuff....always a good time there....I also need to set up appts for a mani and pedi....I never used to be into that but now I love them....all about me time....well me and sis time, she is gonna get one compliments of me....but I think I will go and rest my somewhat achy self in a nice hot bathtub....

Well I wanted you
I wanted no one else
I thought it through
I got you to myself
You got off
Every time you got on to me
I got caught up
In favorable slavery

Was it wrong? Was it wrong?

I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could
watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could
watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons

Well you know my friends
Well they know your enemies
I'd pretend
Not to hear what they said to me
'Cause I got off
Every time you got on to me
Was it wrong
To go along with the insanity?

Was it wrong? Was it wrong?

I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could
watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could
watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons.

I just heard this song and laughed, I have been here done this...I figure it is sometime has happened to us all:o)

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

My day was pretty mundane....got to sleep in though....which was nice, I got my eyebrows waxed....I feel so much better...now I just have to get my nails done before new years and then again later in January. I baked some cookies and watched a movie...it was all in all a good ass day....right now I am chillin with my music blaring...some 3 doors down and johnny cash....I like it all...I heard a song the other day that decribes my personality at least when it comes to letting my guard down...its called tonight I wanna cry...just something about it struck a chord....I will have to find the words and put it on here at some point....I was lying in the tub last night listening to classical music....thinking....realized you really can find some peace in piano music....I am planning on getting my tattoo soon...I am just at a loss of where to put it...I don't want it on my lower back because everyone has them there and I just don't want that but I was thinking somewhere on my shoulder or between my shoulder blades....I think that would look really good but I can't decide...I would get one on my foot but that would prove somewhat difficult being that I have to wear shoes to work and it wouldn't have any time to heal...so looking for the opinion of people to help me with my decision. I am getting a wiccan or celtic symbol...something beautiful well at least what I would consider beautiful.

I know that whole thing sleep is overrated....but damn it I would like to sleep more eventually....this 2-3 hours a night thing is starting to fuck with my personality....but I digress....I am thinkin of plans for tomorrow as I sit here wide awake....eyebrow waxing is coming to mind....because I am looking not right...and then maybe some shopping....I have to get a couple hot outfits before my sister makes it up here....although I should just wait until she gets here and then take her with me because she seems to be the only one who can talk me into buying things I wouldn't normally....plus I know she is beautiful and I should at least attempt to give her a run for her money....lol....tomorrow I may actually bake...only cuz it is getting close to christmas and you should have a couple cookies in the house....I am still working out my big new years plans....they seem to keep changing....I just wanna go out toss a few back and have a good time...and not have to worry about anything...I would just like some time to not have to think about all the important shit that I have been having to sort through lately....tired of being the 22 yr old with a million and one responsibilities....it just starts to come down on you...and you take it out on people that you don't mean to or you just quit givin a shit about anything....(insert subtle change of subject here)....finally back into the dating ring...after some much needed time off from men...they were giving me a headache...didn't go and bat for the other team during that time....just took time off and decided what I want....and I want to have fun...no matter what....I always thought that dating sucked....I was wrong....its a good time....if you aren't out with mr lack of personality or lack of a lot of things...just dating guys from this town...not so much with an option....if I wanted a redneck I would go up to the local parking lot and find me one and pop out babies like the rest of the chicks in this town...NO THANK YOU....to much possibility out there and my plan is to live life and suck the bitch dry with a champange chaser!!!!

why when we live in a world all about equality that we cannot in the slightest treat the ones we love equally...we want so much to be with them that we spend every minute that we having pushing them away because we cannot decide what really means something to us or where people stand in line of importance. How hard is it to be real with someone rather than give them the speil that we think that they wan to hear. We are a deceptive manipulative speices....I know it is survival of the fittest, but we are capable of being cruel becasue we don't tell the real truth only the truth people want to hear. so technically we are constantly telling lies to one another just to keep up the status quo, if you love someone...tell them...because that person may not be there tomorrow...
think before you hurt....understand the consequences....deal with them and move on....truth hurts once lies hurt forever.

Ok so I went out last night....finally...I was starting to get a little cabin fever up in this house...besides school and work I haven't really been doing much since I got back from texas....soooo I went to the cactus last night (its a campus bar)....got a good buzz going...almost lost my voice from singing in the piano bar (another part of the club thats pretty cool) and then when I got good and hammered I went out on the dance floor and danced my happy little ass off...only problem in that is...I think i mighta over did it a little...my freakin right hip and knee and hurtin sumthin fierce today....sitting and standing are a bit of a challenge....although it was worth it and I had a really good time....I just hope it stops hurting before I have class tomorrow....today is one of those days I feel like doing absolutely nothing...and I intend to do just that....I wanted to go and rent a movie...but then I thought...wow that means I have to go outside in the cold and sweep off my car....AGAIN...and drive into town which granted is only a 2 min drive now but thats not the point....but anyways that was my weekend and I hope everyone I talk to on here had a good one as well...and I hope my poor sisser feels better sometime soon....it sucks major goat scrot to be sick, and have to go to work and all that good shit.

hey all I am back from my texas vacation...I had a good time it was great to spend time with my sister asshole free....now I just can't wait for her to get up here in Jan...I met a lot of her friends all of them pretty cool....still kinda wore out...missed my plane and that kinda good stuff so it took me longer than planned to get home and when i finally did all I wanted to do was freakin sleep...lol...but anyways just wanted to say hello and let everyone know I made it ok:o)

I am looking around at the four walls that surround me wondering why I can't sleep for the second night in a row....not even seeing the idea of sleep lying around the corner....and I am thinking...I know scary concept right...who knew...I went back and read some of my old journal entries...its kinda cool to be able to go back and read your thoughts....now granted you all are not privy to all of them....the really juicy stuff I keep in a hand written journal and that will be my little box of secrets....life is good right now...with only the occational dip in the fun meter...I think for the first time in a long time I am content...not just the happy moments followed by the down times....I am just content...I have a direction in my life that I haven't had in a long time....I mean I was letting the idea of relationship plague me for some time...but now I am happy being me....though having someone to fill the lonely night or 2 wouldn't suck....I am ok....I think I almost needed to be alone...not like friendless kinda alone...but emotionally alone...ok even that sounded wrong....what I mean is...I have friends that love me and would do anything to ensure my happiness and I appriciate them more than they will ever know...but I needed to find some peace on my own...I am still figuring myself out and growing...we never stop doing that...but I am working on myself and that gives me contentment....I was thinking about relationships though....not about having one but the nature of them....strange how they come about..out of the blue mostly....taking the chance to trust a total stranger with your thoughts and feelings...the risk behind it all....just the rush of it....I don't know might be the lack of sleep or the nyquil talking...feels as though I am making no sense so with that I will depart.

So all, here I am....its cold as hell outside....thank god I have my pink fuzzy hat....lol...so it was my niecers b-day yesterday....yea for her....least she is now out of the terrible twos....now she is in the terrifing threes....I don't think there is a win win until they start school...lol...I'm getting really excited to be coming down there....yet nervous all at the same time....i know that I will be accepted because I am just cool as hell...but its meeting a lot of people....but I will be cool cuz I get to spend time with people that mean a lot to me...so its all gravy baby....I am ready for the next weekend already...is that sad...lol...I am gonna do sum baking this weekend bring some goodies with me for thanksgiving...as my sister knows I am the queen of baked goodies...or at least I used to be...my domestic skills have fallens sorta short, but we will find out this weekend....I am thinking about going to a winery here in town....just to do the tasting....j/k...figure I will find a bottle to bring with me...it will be a white or blush cuz I can't do red, drinking it warm just doesn't do it for me....I guess when I get down there i will be trying warm saki for the first time ever...that should be an experience...but I know me...I will try almost anything once, and twice if I like it. I am getting ancy...ready to fly out and have me some fun...

A bottle of Asti and a backrub....a hot bath with bubbles....thunderstoms.....cuddling.....sleep....

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .....I get to get outta IN for a little while, so ready to do so....it kinda sucks all my friends live hundrededs to thousands of miles away...esp my sisser...but I get to see her in 10 days, my god I am so ready I haven't seen her asshole free in years, it will be nice to see her and to not have to walk on eggshells....I get tired of doing that and it grates with my personality....I am thinkin about getting my neicer something she will love for her birthday, but it will be late being that I will not be there until after the fact, I miss that little terror....screaming and all....although I have now figured out the very best form of birth control, have friends who have kids....I am pretty much the only one of my friends who isn't in a committed relationship, has kids, or is married....I am single and no kids, with no real ties....sounds immature right, wrong....I have other responsiblities that most will never understand....I have been grown up for years...I just have immature moments...hell I am 22 what do you expect...lol....so I have the big fun plans for today....I am gonna rake and straighten up the garage so that I can turn it into a gym for myself so that it will be cheaper than me having to pay every month to work out three times a week an hour at a time...I just have to get a couple free weights and a treadmill....other than that I am set....but this is gonna kinda be relaxing for me....all last week I was celebrating with a friend because it was his birthday and he is one of the closest people to me...and let me tell you that is a hard place to fall into...I have 4 people whom I consider close....and they have been around for years...I know this is a clusterfuck of information....but my mind is off the well worn path today and this is what you get...I need out of this state....change of scenery....my sister has been pushing for me to come down there and live....who knows....she might convince me yet.

I am sitting here, kinda bored, cuz there really isn't anything to do here....and I am not up for really going out...so I thought I would get on here and vent a little bit....I hear that they abolished marriage in Texas good for them....why can't people just be happy being together for the rest of their lives without the need for a piece of paper saying its permanent, can't you as a couple agree for it to be permanent...so kudos to texas....and I hear that bush is trying to make it illegal to dispense birth-control...is he out of his fuckin mind...and he thought teen pregnancy was bad now, I work in the medical field and it saddens me everyday to see 13-19 year old girls pregnant....I think if he was going to do something intellegent he should promote safe sex rather than no sex, it has been taboo for much to long, and we are finally coming to terms with the fact that it is not a wrongful act...but he is determined to oppress women once more...making it impossible for us to be sexual beings, he would rather us go back to corset dresses and virginal beds....screw him....if he is thinking these things, he needs to go back to the 1920's where he belongs.

so it can't make up its mind here in the great state of IN whether or not it is gonna be hot or cold, which in turn has now givin me the start of bronchitis....bastard weather...oh well I will be in texas 2 weeks from today and plan on feeling great and having a wonderful time with my sisser and niecer...but people should realize that it goes from being 70 all week here to 56 in one day...and then it is even colder at night...indiana weather sucks big goat scrotum....

A romantic vampire

You yourself believe that romance never dies and in
truth it probably never does! The key to your
success as a vampire is that you have the
ability to love and care. You no where your
going and how to get there. You are still a
keen predator and are one of the best!! You get
your kills (which are mainly the opposite sex)
by becoming their mates, you lull them into a
false sense of security then you kill without
mercy. You can only love your own kind, because
you dont like the hurt that comes with loving
humans. You have not lost any of your humanity
(except obviously the killing bit, lol) and
with that comes hurt as you watch your fellow
vampires slowly disappear into insanity.


What sort of vampire would you be and what is your story?(great pics)
brought to you by Quizilla